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For @elise.loehnen’s mom, motherhood meant “low-grade frustration and resentment, paired with unwavering, tight-lipped competence: She would mother us by accomplishing the checklist mandated by the job, which involved subjugating what she wanted to our needs. But this didn’t mean she would love it,” Elise writes in an @nytopinion guest essay. Elise built her emotional freedom on the pyre of her mom’s honesty, “on her willingness to give voice to resentment when so many women felt compelled to lie. Even though it was painful at times when I was a child, particularly because she was different from other moms (though, I insist, not that unusual), she did create a coherent narrative for me. This narrative has proved to be less emotionally confusing than for some of my friends, who can sense and yet not name their mothers’ frustration and rage.” Read more at the link in our bio.